Married or…Merry: 40+1 Reasons Not to Get Married!!

By Kate Papas 
 Marriage is a very important step in a Greek person’s life, but recently many Greek couples have start to feel the international trend of parting ways with their partner.
A Greek, Kate Papas, wrote a book which has been called The Greek International Book of Marriage, or 40+1 Reasons Not to Get Married!! Here you can see a few of those reasons as Kate describes them in her book and please, let us know what you think in our comments section.
Life—with or without softener—is hard.
Life is beautiful.
The glass is half-full.
The glass is—half-empty.
Depending on the observer, the beholder, on his character, temperament or genetic make-up – call it what you may- things take on different perspectives, they change dimensions, qualities, their essence, their nature, as does reality itself. Everyone lives “their own myth” not only in Greece, where I come from, but all over the world, as well.
“You live in your own world,” we tell each other, and unfortunately we are right!
Given though that the years fly by like crazy, and also, that life keeps changing without giving a damn about our personal feelings, I had to find something to keep myself sane. It took me ages, I must admit, but in the end I found the remedy.
I would only focus on the hilarious, the comic, the pleasant, the agreeable, the anodyne, the-whatever-you-want-to–call-it aspect of situations. Without trying to diminish their importance, I decided to “take it lightly.” And don’t you worry! There is no way to diminish life’s importance…

Reason No.1
“WHOEVER THINKS FREELY, THINKS WELL”
(Rigas Ferraios -Greek writer and patriot, 1757-1798)
With this well-known saying and the numerous poems and songs he composed, Ferraios tried to inspire his enslaved countrymen to revolt against the Turks, who occupied Greece for about 400-years. —End of history lesson!
For God’s sake, don’t take me for a chauvinist—I don’t deserve such a “title.” But, do you realize that by being married, you will probably not be able (yes, even this, my dear) to think freely? And if you believe that “thinking is free” forget it!
Actually, if you are married and you have your husband or your wife “brainwashing” you night and day—if you continually have to face your obligations and dead ends, while fighting all the time with the “musts” and “must nots,” even the idea of “thinking freely” takes flight. And the worst is this: “Free Thought” is replaced with the single word “Alienation”!
Reason No.2
“MONACHOS SOU CHOREVE, KI OSO THELIS PIDA”
(Greek proverb, means:
DANCE SOLO AND HOP AROUND TO YOUR HEART’S DESIRE)
All proverbs are wise, but if you decide to align yourself with this special one, you may be saved for good! You see, when someone gets married, he must coordinate his dance steps with the steps of someone else’s dance. In that case, the following possibilities emerge:
1) Your partner doesn’t know how to dance.
2) Your partner doesn’t know how to dance this dance.
3) Your partner knows how to dance, but doesn’t feel like dancing this particular dance.
4) Your partner prefers a completely different dance.
5) Your partner is physically unable to dance any dance at all.
6) Your partner is only willing … to tango!
A long marriage is two people trying to dance a duet and two solos at the same time. ~Anne Taylor Fleming (American novelist)
Reason No.11
“MARRIAGE IS FATTENING”
(A personal, but also general, conclusion)
Look around you and tell me: How many people have escaped weight gain after getting married? This “big fat(tening)” problem is due mostly to our mothers’ theories, according to which “The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach!”
You see, that is the first piece of advice every good mummy is sure to give her daughter. (Unfortunately, it’s easy to make it to the stomach, but very few ever make it to the final destination).
Now, add to this a lack of motivation (tragic), slowly blend in the default interest rates (more tragic), and spice it all up with a dash of self-punishment and a pinch of self-destruction (found in abundance during rough marital times (the most tragic!) and you have the recipe for a weight gain of 20 pounds -at least!
In Greece we have an epigram that says: “ότι φάμε ότι πιούμε κι ότι αρπάξει ο κώλος μας.” Find a Greek and he will explain it to you at length. Or look into the writings of the ancient Greek philosopher Epicurus. (Anyway, until you find the time, I’ll tell you, in a nutshell, that this famous “philosophy on life” has to do with drinking well…eating well……and……screwing well!)
Bon appetit!!!
Why do married men gain weight while bachelors don’t? Bachelors go to the refrigerator, see nothing they want, and then go to bed. Married guys go to the bed,
see nothing they want, then go to the refrigerator. ~Author Unknown
Reason No.20
“MOTHER-IN-LAW”
Unless you risk becoming an out-law (by killing your mother-in-law –ha, ha, ha!), I wouldn’t suggest you get married. Mothers-in-law—in complete opposition to our natural mothers—are usually disagreeable. (So too may be your natural mother, only it is difficult to distinguish! This is my idea of “Love blinds.”)
English Law prohibits a man from marrying his mother-in-law. This is our idea of useless legislation. ~Author Unknown
Of course, there are always bright exceptions—miracles happen every now and then. But in this book, Ι repeat, we’ve decided to see the dark side of the moon. As for the bright side, leave it to priests, parents, and teachers…
Two mothers-in-law.
~Lord John Russell (1792-1878) Two-time British Prime Minister, on being asked what he would consider a proper punishment for bigamy.
Reason No.41
“AND THEY LIVED HAPPILY EVER AFTER…”
(Internationally known and everlasting “trap phrase”)
And if you don’t trust me, what about this?
Strange to say what delight we married people have to see these poor fools decoyed into our condition.” ~Samuel Pepys (British politician & diarist, 1633-1703)
In every fairy tale, in every romantic film, couples in love surmount all obstacles, and the story finishes with what we call a “happy end.” In other words—they get married.
The audience then leaves the theatre, the reader closes the book, being deeply touched and happy, hoping for the same good fortune. Nobody wonders what could possibly happen if the film or the fairy tale continued…
What’s more, nobody realizes that this is exactly what should concern us the most!
Anyway, we shouldn’t put the blame on poor average people. Better blame society, which does its best to disorient us from grasping the real point…
In the opinion of the world, marriage ends all, as it does in a comedy. The truth is precisely the opposite: it begins all.
~Anne Sophie Swetchine (Russian mystic, 1782-1857)
*Kate Papas is the author of the book “MARRIED OR…MERRY?” which you can get from Amazon. You can also find her on Facebook.